UHPR NEWS
Did you know that within each Unit sits one (and maybe even two) Unit Health Promotion Representatives (UHPR) that work hard at spreading the news of 19 Wing HP? Not only do they promote our courses, briefings, and campaigns, but they usually role model health quite well (or at least try their best).
Recently, one UHPR, Pte Anthony Moon (407 Sqn), sent out his own take on the benefits of health promotion. If you need a laugh, need to get in the spirit of Halloween, or need to aquaint yourself with the latest in HP news. Read below....
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From: Moon Pte AD@407 (LRP) Sqn@Comox
Sent: Wednesday, 19, October, 2011 08:57 AM
To: #407Sqn
Subject: Zombies - Health Promotion Courses
Demons,
I think it's time that we talked about a very serious threat that few countries are actually prepared for - Zombie Apocalypse. Experts* agree that the likelihood of a Zombie Apocalypse increases with every year that passes (as next year is obviously more likely than the last).
Few major cities in the world have taken the necessary action to prevent, or even control, this type of outbreak. And being from the small area of the Comox Valley, with our vast forests, lakes and rivers, I would be remise if I did not warn you that our local government probably does not have an action plan.
We've all seen the movies, we know how it ends: not very well if you don't have a plan.
The outcome can be pretty grim, not very many survivors will make it. Experts* estimate a survival rate of 5%, but only in those people that are willing to acquire the necessary skills to counter the constant waves of brain-hungry zombies.
Well, Health Promotion to the rescue! Take matters into your own hands! No need to rely on small government for protection!
The Health Promotion courses that we have access to are surprisingly similar to the necessary skills needed to survive a zombie apocalypse.
Rule #1 - Cardio
Top Fuel for Top Performance will teach you how to change your nutrition habits in order to get the most out of your body. This is a vital skill when running away from zombies, jumping over fences for quick get-a-ways. The food sources in the 'New World' will be very slim while humanity rebuilds itself, and you want to get off to the best possible start you can.
With cardio, comes injuries. It's not every person who can jump over fences all day, or run through forests to avoid being eaten, that won't sustain an injury from the amount of awesome you will need to display in order to survive. Luckily, there is an Injury Prevention course that will teach you how to avoid, and deal with injuries. If you have weak ankles, they will teach you strengthening exercises.
When faced with this new world, you can either be a sheep or a leader, and unfortunately, your experience in the CF has taught you many necessary skills desired in leaders. You will be called upon to lead other survivors in the struggle for survival against an army of undead. You are going to need to be able to communicate with your underlings in order to be a tight-knit fighting force (hint: don't call them underlings to their faces, you will probably have a mutiny on your hands). If your skills aren't up-to-snuff, take a look at MAM - Communication for Effective Leadership. This course will teach you the necessary skills to be an effective leader.
Being trapped in a small bunker with the same smelly people for weeks on end, the sounds of the hungry undead constantly gnashing at your doors, hungry and tired, that’s going to get pretty stressful, and you're going to need to know how to deal with it. We've all been to Basic, we know what this is like (except for maybe the gnashing of the undead, if so, you're course was harder than mine). Once again HP has you covered with their Stress - Take Charge course. When the urge to throw your best friends to the zombies gets to be too much, you can think back to the skills you learned on this course and get by just fine. And remember, nothing beats a high-five to get through difficult times (in the face, with a chair). Keep them in the bunker, you need all the help you can to get through the Apocalypse.
All in all, the HP courses can equip you with the skills needed to survive, but you need to take the first steps by registering. Even in the unlikely event that there isn't an actual Apocalypse (remember the experts*), you will still be equipped with many beneficial skills to make you a more effective leader, a healthier person, and overall more Zen-like (how you employ these skills is up to you, I only handle Zombies). These courses are not to be missed.
From your resident doom speaker,
Tony Moon
Pte
Zombie Hater
8436
*No experts were actually consulted in this email, and any facts or figures are purely fictional. Just sign up for the courses!
